The Toughest Girl in Spokane

Today after a few years of pain and many months of alternative treatments, I took a major step, and in doing so was dubbed by the doctor "the toughest girl in Spokane!"

Through a recent ct scan, I was diagnosed with several sites of both moderate and severe degeneration, calcification, stenosis, and arthritis in my neck. I do all the right things--exercise, eat well, yoga--but it seems that holding up my big heavy brain was too much for my little tiny vertebrae. When all else failed, I chose to try to stop the pain.

I had a rhizotomy, or nerve burning, procedure. After a few bad experiences with sedation in the past, I refused to have any medication. I figured if women can breathe and have a baby, I could breathe and have fire-needles shoved into my spine. The nurses and doctor told me many times that everyone has a sedative, and even then are very uncomfortable; however, I held firm and here's how it went.

They inserted shots of Novocaine into three places in my neck, going deeper and deeper until they hit bone. They scraped needles around on the bones, trying to find the correct nerve, and I breathed. We perversely discussed 127 Hours and the nerve scene while they tested to make sure they had the right nerve. First they hit it with a current that made it jump, another that made my hand thump, and then some really bad stuff that just made it hurt. When my arm started twitching, they moved the needles around, hitting more bones and nerves, and then found the correct placement. All the while, I breathed and talked about movies.

Once they found the right spot, they searched and poked for three different places on the nerve to burn--each burn took about 90 seconds. Each time the needles moved deeper, they offered me meds; I said "No. This feels interesting" and breathed and, yes, talked about movies.

Once the burning was done, they sat me up and it was over. They were amazed that I made it through, and I was delighted that my day wouldn't be ruined by nausea and fatigue. The nerve will take a couple weeks to stop its fussing, and will probably get worse before it gets better (tough little buggers, those nerves), so I will see what happens next. In the meantime, I will breathe, talk about movies, and delight in being the toughest girl in Spokane.